Go away now.

I am still itchy. New spots just keep showing up around my body. I guess the poison ivy is in my bloodstream? My arms and hands itch tonight and woke me up. And the boys have it. Will has some on his penis, poor kid. He lets everyone know about it too. And Jack's is in his diaper area.

That which you resist persists. I know, I know....

Popping Garbanzos

The garbanzo beans I have soaking are popping in the stock pot. I never knew they did that. I am usually asleep when beans are soaking, but its almost 2 am and I can't sleep. Anyway, it reminds me of the mexican jumping beans I bought in Mexico when I was a kid. I loved those beans, popping on the night stand in the Tijuana hotel the night I bought them. How did those beans pop? I wonder?

Sometimes I can't believe the amount of *stuff* I have running thru my brain, constantly. Of all the things to stop and take the time to blog about, I choose popping garbanzo beans!

What I should blog about is my deepening interest in the Enki homeschooling curriculum.

http://www.enkieducation.org/html/homeschool-curriculum.htm

Zig Zag

Mark is in Chicago.

I am very, very itchy.

Poison Ivy.

I have it. Round two for the summer. I know I got it from Jack - who was crawling thru the trees with the big kids and then cuddled up to me to nurse at nap time. Its all over my chest and neck - just how he snuggles. Its on my boobs too.

The boys don't have it so far. Cool.

I'm taking lots of Vitamin C, grapefruit seed extract, and a homeopathic anti itch spray that works awesome. I've got the remedy down now. Of course, the blisters will start arriving probably tomorrow. This stuff is brutal.

Poison Ivy.

I have it. Round two for the summer. I know I got it from Jack - who was crawling thru the trees with the big kids and then cuddled up to me to nurse at nap time. Its all over my chest and neck - just how he snuggles. Its on my boobs too.

The boys don't have it so far. Cool.

I'm taking lots of Vitamin C, grapefruit seed extract, and a homeopathic anti itch spray that works awesome. I've got the remedy down now. Of course, the blisters will start arriving probably tomorrow. This stuff is brutal.

Oh, oh, oh

I have to blog before I forget this...

I want to make bean bags filled with beans and rosemary. Rosemary is perfect for this -- good for the memory ("rosemary for remembrance, pray, love, remember" - Shakespeare) and should prevent bug attack, too.

Intention, Gratitude, Positive Visualization and All That Stuff

Thoughts of Happiness and Joy

Begin with only thinking kind thoughts. It won't take long before you start to speak kind words. When you speak kind words to others, they will begin to think kind thoughts, and when they speak kind words, it will be followed by kind deeds. So, slowly it will go, bit by bit. Everything must first come to the human soul through the head, which first has to think the good. Then it will not be so difficult for the body to do what the soul has thought out in the head.

Think Goodness for everyone and everything.
Think how you yourself want to be met.
Think health towards all who are ill,
think life in all that has died,
think only good thoughts.
Think everything in the utmost humility...

If you are in a place which makes you worry, go away. Freedom will help you. Believe in everything that is beautiful and true. How, you wonder - I cannot believe in most of the things that are beautiful and true, when so many things are ugly lies.

Earth child, we had come so far that you had thought away fear and worry. So why are you still worried about the ugliness and lies of the earth? See friends in everyone you meet.

But maybe those I meet want to harm me. They may look nice and kind, but really they are nasty and evil.

Have you already forgotten that you thought away ugliness and lies? Little earth child, in this way we can continue to think away everything that is unpleasant and ugly. But your head can't take anymore. If you teach your earth friends all I've told you your earth will be much happier. Maybe it won't happen at once but bit by bit it will get better. Don't forget that you must remain childlike. You must believe in fairy tales, in miracles, in love, in the beautiful, in the pure.

Don't read anything soiled! Your thoughts will be soiled.
Don't see anything soiled. Your eyes will be soiled.
Don't hear anything soiled. Your ears will be soiled.
Don't eat anything soiled. Your stomach will be soiled.
Don't speak anything soiled. Your mouth will be soiled.
Don't think anything soiled. Your soul will be soiled...

* from various pages within the book "When the Storm Comes and A Moment in the Blossom Kingdom" by Barbro Karlen

Birthdays and lazy days.

Pics of the boys' birthday party, my first radish out of my garden (obviously I am late on photos), grandma and grandpa Voss and more....

Back on track

I'm here. Getting happier (thank you St. John's Wort). I could write more about the past few days but really its not that interesting. That would be the phlegmatic in me talking, I have learned. Anyway. Someone out there read "The Four Temperments," by Rudolf Steiner so we can talk about it, please. : )

I like this quote:

" Learning is experience. Everything else is just information." - Albert Einstein

Loathing

A self-inflicted, terrible, torturous kind of day. Please let bedtime come soon.

Hey Julie Mama

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers for baby Hailey. I'm posting the following e-mail that Mark's mom sent that gives an update and explains a bit what is going on with her:

Haley is on a Heart and Lung machine----the machine takes over for both
organs----this gives both organs a rest!!!! She can heal better. She is
also on a blood thinner----sooo----the prayer is that internal bleeding
does not happen. . She will be on the machine for about two weeks. What
a TOUGH battle for such a little one!!!!!! Yesterday was a very stressful
day for Jenny and Keenan. Greg said she had a stable night.

Hey Julie Mama

Hailey is not doing well and my heart is breaking. How does a new, first time mother survive this anguish? Please let her be okay.

Daddy's Day Off

So we skipped the strawberry almond shortcake and just ate the strawberries. We're all about efficiency around here.
We went to Pickings and Pumpkins and they are organic! We got a huge bag o' berries for $5.

Today is Will's birthday. Daddy is off, and we played all day on the lake. Then came home and we all napped. Will is still sleeping. He's requested macaroni and cheese for his birthday dinner. I'm getting ready to make it. Jack is on the back porch throwing (left over from the birthday party) pop cans down on the deck and watching them bust and spray all over. That is okay with me. Daddy is now hollering at me to go stop Jack from his fun. Oh well.

mmmm.

On th menu for tomorrow:

Strawberry smoothies!

Strawberry Almond Shortcake!

Hey Julie Mama

Book Club Night. Way. Too. Late. But always enjoyable.

So Mark and I fought about something stupid tonight before I left for book club. I get home tonight and he has completely cleaned the house. Even the boys' little tea set is set up perfectly on their kid table. What does this mean? Did he do this as a way to say, "I'm sorry?" Or is it a "See, you lazy bum, if you just tried you could make this house look good during the day."

I'm waking up in 5 hours to go strawberry picking. That is if I go to sleep now.

Memorial Day

In memory of my grandpas....

WHY THE AMERICAN FLAG IS FOLDED 13 TIMES

Have you ever noticed on TV or at military funerals that the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the American flag 13 times?

I've known how the 21 gun salute was determined (adding the individual digits of 1776), but only recently learned why the flag was folded 13 times when it is lowered or when it is folded and handed to the widow at the burial of a veteran.

HERE IT IS: The first fold of our flag is a symbol of life.

The second fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The third fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.

The fourth fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, "Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong."

The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The seventh fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.

The eighth fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor mother, for whom it flies on Mother's Day.

The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The tenth fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born.

The eleventh fold, in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

The twelfth fold, in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

When the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nation's motto, "In God We Trust". After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges, and freedoms we enjoy today. There are some traditions and ways of doing things which have deep meaning. You will see many flags folded in the coming weeks, and now you will know why.

My Birthday Boys

We had Will and Jack's birthday party today. A Mexican fiesta, American style. Lots of chicken and cheese. Will requested an ice cream cake, which I made for him, and Jack got a lemon cake, which Daddy requested and Grandma made.

The whole family was here, and the boys and their cousins enjoyed playing in the pool. It was a really good day. Mark's mom is a huge help and the house looks good. I love Grandmas. I also realized that I must be close to being as "normal" as I can get as I had very, very little anxiety all day. I could not have done all this last year. I can't even remember their party last year, actually.

Pictures to come soon.

My babies are 4 and 2. I can't believe it!!!!

Hey Julie Mama

Hailey is on life support and surgery has not happened yet. However, Jennifer and Keenan will be talking to another couple that daughter had the same condition, and had the surgery and is now a happy, healthy 2 year old. I am praying.

Mark's parents arrive today. They have had a difficult week - the husband of their "best couple" died and the funeral was this week. They were friends for 50 years. 50 years! Now the baby. They don't handle stress well and I worry about them. All that on top of a 9 hour drive to see us.

Oh, and the news that my unmarried nephew and his girlfriend are expecting a baby, Mark's parents must be completely beside themselves. Although I secretely am SO excited for our nephew. He will grow up fast, and he will take the challenge on with dignity. He'll be an amazing daddy.

pray for baby Hailey

Hailey, my niece's first baby, was born last night with a hole in her diaphragm, and her intestines exposed. Surgery is today and I have no idea what to expect or how serious this is... nonetheless it does not sound good and not something I would want to experience as a mother. ever.

Mmmm. Soap.

Today a friend and I made a bunch of sweet smelling soap. My favorite is the oatmeal/ylang ylang with beet powder that turned it pink, and the coffee/oatmeal/peppermint. Or the honey/almond with beeswax. I'm hooked. On our way to see Ms. Diana and visit The Dolphin Song, I'm stopping by the beeswax place tomorrow for a look around. I want/need more beeswax and candle molds to make candles for our fireplace, and they also sell soapmaking supplies there! So maybe I'll pick out another soap mold.

Will started the day out being completely WILD. He eventually found a groove and all kids played well. But sometimes I can't believe the stuff he does. For example... the kids were playing in the basement and Will had gone into the garage, climbed up onto Daddy's work bench to get nails and a hammer and went back downstairs and --just as I went to the basement to check on them --- he was getting ready to nail a blanket into the pool table, because "the door to their fort kept falling down."

Eeks. Nice. Sure Daddy would be cool with that and all.

Birthday party for both boys this weekend. I have grand plans of making birthday crowns, log blocks (five are sanded so far), and two cakes. Plus dinner for all the family coming over on Saturday. Mark's parents are visiting from Michigan and will be here Thursday night. I believe we are going to a Paul Mesner puppet show on Friday. Fun times! But can I get this all done?

na-na na na na-na

I have in my freezer:

Chickpea Spinach pasta

High Protein Pasta

Black Bean and Corn Burritos

Red Bean Polenta

Beet Soup

Spinach Lasagna

Asparagus Quiche

Gumbo

Salmon Broccoli Noodle Casserole

Mandarin Chicken

Turkey Meatloaf

Jumbalya

Asian Turkey Burgers

and in the fridge,

Gazpacho!


Wow!!!!!

My Abe

Mark has come thru for me today with the kids and the garage sale (after we had a terrible morning fight)... he took the day off and played with the kids. In fact, they are still playing - out on the boat. I am still cooking.

Jack has not nursed ALL day. Tonight we were trying to convince him to stay with me and not go on the boat and I suggested we sit down and nurse and he said, "No! Da-da! Bo!" So he went on the boat. : )

Cramps, Garage Sale, Cooking.

That's me right now. I am on a mission to earn enough money to buy me a Vita-Mix. To make that raw milk ice cream! : )

More than $165,000

There's a news article circulating that talks about how much a SAHM is worth, monetarily.

But they are a bit off on calculation. I say double that figure because they need to add into that all the consulting, counciling, nursing, and so on that incurs from being a wife. Gah!

I always tell Mark I am his Mary Lincoln. Where would he be without ME? : )

Mama.

This was a family weekend, one of those weekends that we think, oh yeah, that's why we live here.
Saturday the boys and I went with grandpa to great grandmas house to chop some wood for 1) our outdoor fire place that a friend picked up for us while curbing 2) to build the bean pole tee pee in the backyard and 3) to make tree blocks for Will for his birthday (pending that Daddy works it into his schedule to at least get them sanded by the end of this month.) The boys were able to visit with great grandma and hang out with their great Aunt Kathy. Jack even cuddled up with Aunt Kathy and fell asleep on her while watching, ahem, The Grinch. He never falls asleep for anyone like that! I love that they get to spend some time over there. On the way there, Will said, "Mommy, great grandmas house smells funny." : ) I told him that everyone's house has different smells and you just get use to it after awhile. : ) That is better than what he said last time - to grandma - and that was that she smelled funny.

The afternoon was spent at the park with cousins. Evening was a little family bike ride around the lake. Will is riding his own bike now!

This morning my mom, sister and myself went to Unity for a (unfortunately not so inspiring) Mother's Day service. Then hung out at my sister's for awhile with everyone before my family headed, with my mom, to a huge nursery to buy flowers for my newly- installed-by-my-hunky-hubby flower beds.

Somewhere in between all that we stopped by my Dad's and wished my step mom a happy day. I gave all the mother's flowers in some paper baskets that I colored and made, along with a beeswax votive candle that I also made.

And amazingly, there was very little bickering among the Richardson women! A grand feat!

But now Mark is trying to get Will down to sleep and I so wish he would go down so Mark and I can just hang out. But I hear him still chatting away. He will fall asleep just soon enough for Jack to wake up, I am sure.

Here.

I'm feeling disjointed. Perhaps its because I am hurting - neck, arm,shoulder, hand... very annoying. Perhaps because Mark has not been around much. He is busy with Stuff that I know he Has To Do.

Anyway.

The Children's Song Waldorf School.

We enjoyed our visit with the director and the pre-school teacher-- sitting in the screened-in porch sipping tea and munching on fresh baked rolls. Very Waldorfy. Lol. I'm glad to have another Walorf presence in Kansas City - I say the more the merrier. The school will have a parent/toddler program, pre-school, kindergarten (they have broken the pre-school and kindergarten out as I am assuming the pre-school may be more like child care), and homeschooling classes. We got into a bit deep discussion on anthroposophy, which I am studying and okay with but which Mark was like, Steiner said WHAT? Hee-hee. Mark and I, though, have agreed that Lake Farm seems to suit us better. We have a history there already and, if we choose preschool, that is where we will send our Will. : ) I do have to say Lake Farm has a fabulous space, and homemade items from the Meisengers that Children's Song doesn't have. Perhaps down the road we will see what kind of homeschooling classes are offered at The Children's Song.

blech blah

help me here. I can't believe how hard having two kids is. teething sucks. boo-boos suck. chaos reins. my internal voice is on hyperdrive - i know its me causing this but how do i stop the train? ACK!

I just put the kids in the car and we are going to get mommy a cup of coffee.

And what are YOU doing?

I'm making Spanakopita while Jack is in the Ergo, stuffing red grapes down the back of my shirt. Cold grapes. Brrr!

In Breath

Busy weekend. Mom and I went to a Raw Foods class and loved it. Mom is going to buy a dehydrator - she's totally into it. We hope to take some more classes from the same person, including a soapmaking class and more advanced raw food classes. I found out there is a Raw Foodies group that meets at Wild Oats in Mission once a month. It would be fun to go sometime to get inspired. I love raw food dishes, but I also love the ice cream I just ate. Sigh. I'm thinking I'm going to use the money from our garage sale in a couple weeks and buy a dehydrator. I want a vita-mix too. Damn! For what I spent a few years ago on our stupid microvwave, I could have bought these! I learn EVERYTHING after its too late. Humpffff.

The boys and I walked the labryinth today at Unity Village - seeing as we can't last more than 15 minutes in the service- and the kids loved it.

http://www.lessons4living.com/labyrinth.htm

Tomorrow Mark and I are taking a peek at the new Waldorf school opening up in Kansas City. Then I will be home for laundry, and catching up on this forgotton home. I'm cooking spanakopita again tomorrow! I got a huge bag of spinach at the Farmer's market (River Market) on Saturday and need to use it up. Still have phyllo dough in freezer so there ya go. I have tons of food in this house right now. Lots of fresh food, too. We could hibernate for awhile.

Yang

It cracks me up that any "SAHM bliss" kind of days are so quickly followed by not so blissful days. I mean, it was a nice enough day but definitely no susie homemaker moments.

Good days

I feel... fulfilled. I've been having some of those perfect SAHM days lately. The ones I daydreamed about before kids. Some people may not have had these dreams, but I did. I dreamed of standing in the kitchen cooking while my kids played out in the back yard, in the sandbox Daddy built them. I love watching them from afar - and seeing where their imagination leads them. I love hearing distant conversations between the boys when they are completely involved in their own little world and have no realization of my intruding little ears listening in on their talk.

The beauty in slmplicity astonishes me sometimes. The more mindful I am at keeping our life simple, the better it is.

Clarity, Focus, Grace and Ease

I'd really like to write more about this as this is what the sermon was at church yesterday. But I think instead I am going to walk up the stairs, crawl into bed, close my eyes, and go to sleep with clarity, focus, grace and ease.

Garden?

I have killed every single one of my zuchhini plants. WTF? They were all looking so beautiful. Then I decided I better wait another couple weeks to transplant... and now they are all dead!

I think I have killed more plants then I have planted.

Easter and Pottery

Lessons.

Lesson #1.

Never, EVER, use those EVIL scotch pads to try to clean glue off your new $800 sliding glass door. Mostly when the only thing you are known to ever clean is your car.

Lesson #2

Never shout "Dammit!" throughout the house after realizing you scratched said door all to hell with your 4 year old watching you freak out. (Dammit will likely become his word of choice for the rest of the day).

Lesson #3

If there was ever a time to practice EQUANIMITY as a wife, this would be the time.


: )

Besides that, we have truly had a lovely day as a family.

I like being a family of four. Its fun.

Will is sleeping and Daddy and Jack went to Home Depot. I'm off to cook some vegetarian meatloafs for cooking club.

Our Favorite Books

First, I am on a Mac and have no idea how to make my links so you can just click on them and go to the web site. It drives me crazy, and my Mac lovin'-on-the-computer-at-work-all-day hubby doesn't know either. Can anyone help with that? If so I'll fix these links so they are clickable.

This is Jack's favorite book. Tonight he nursed and held on tight to this book as he fell asleep. I have to way, we have the old, I think original book from the Hallmark Creative Library that Mark got at work (way cooler):

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399234888/sr=8-1/qid=1146106850/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-6362047-1435246?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Will loves The Knee-Baby:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0374442444/qid=1146107371/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-6362047-1435246?s=books&v=glance&n=283155
BEAUTIFUL book. I bawled the first time I read it to Will. (If ya read it, note the page that says, "these are bad signs" and change to "these are crying signs."

Mark and I love these:
Spring's Sprung
Summer's Vacation
Wild Child
Winter Waits

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0689832680/qid=1146107489/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-6362047-1435246?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

achey rainy comfy nesty kinda day

We spent yesterday at my mom's catching up on laundry. Our washing machine has been broken for 2 weeks and last week I was at the laundromat. But Sunday our friend picked up our machine to fix in his shop and left us with a little on to use in the interim. Somedays I love humans. Now that I'm caught up, the little machine will keep us above water until mine is fixed.

We took the kids and picked up some of our pottery pieces last night and will pick up the rest tonight and go to dinner (just Mark and I). I'll post pics soon of our pieces. I have enough clay left over that I am going to make us matching plates for the cups and bowls I did. Our pottery teacher said just bring it in and I can fire and glaze it there. I really wanted to throw a mixing bowl but each attempt at that failed. We may take another class in Fall - we really enjoyed it (although we agreed the other classmates - all public school teachers, btw - were a bit annoying! LOL!

I'm crampy and don't have anything ready-to-eat for lunch. We'll have to scavenge.

The hole in our house is gone - the new sliding glass door sits in its frame, with tarp all over it. Tomorrow after the rains end we (er, Mark and Scot) will finish that job.

My success of the day - organizing the book shelf in the hallway! Yay!

My latest read that I am LOVING - its giving me so much confidence in our homeschooling journey: Teach Your Own, by John Holt.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0738206946/sr=8-2/qid=1145981850/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-6362047-1435246?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Damn!

I forgot that Positivity exercise! This is harder than I thought.

I want to run away.

I do.

I would take my family with me.

But I would like to be somewhere wherre the leaves are dense and damp above me. Trees crowding the forest. Near the ocean, though, where maybe I might get hints of salt air. It would be really quiet and the smell of the earth would overtake me.

We have the Money Pit house right now. Right now we have literally half the back of the house knocked out to fix termite damage. When we pulled down the dry wall - we also discovered a billion ants. Guess i know why I couldn't get rid of the ants in my kitchen.... so many projects.

Initiative exercise

I haven't done so well with this. I stretched a couple mornings in a row. LIke, whle Jack was nursing and I thought, hey, no kids (awake), let me stretch my arms and legs while he nurses. Pathetic. He is teething, I need to remember that (no sleep for any of us, all night nursing).

Maybe I should go back to coffee. That is a very beguiling ritual. Actually, I do believe I am going to start drinking the Nourishment tea. My friend gave this to me:

Steep:
Raspberry Leaf
Nettle Leaf
Red Clover
Peppermint
Rose Hips
Oatstraw.

A little honey in this and I am happy. That would be a great morning ritual I could do for myself.

Soon I can drink it in the cups I made us in our pottery class!

Being mindful of the essentials in life.

"Why do people often lack strength? Because they give their efforts to inessentials just as much as to essentials. There are homemakers that can run their home in a completely relaxed way. They know exactly what is important: first take care of what is important. The question of what is important can be asked in many ways. Important is THAT IT BE ASKED AT ALL.
---- The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker.

Also from the book are the following six exercises that I am going to focus and be aware of for the next couple weeks. I will hang these words on my fridge:

"1. Concentration exercise
Meditate and work to "Differentiate between essentials and non-essentials," and develop a strong force.

2. Initiative exercise
For 2 weeks one does a certain act each morning and evening. This actions should not be determined by OUTER NECESSITIES but rather choose something that arises out of one's OWN WILL, OWN INTENTIONS.

3. Equanamity exercise
HOLD back all expressions of feeling for a short time (NOT the feeling themselves!).

4. Positivity exercise
Find SOMETHING positive in EVERYTHING.

5. FREEDOM from BIAS exercise.
Develop in oneself the feeling of approaching each new experience without prejudice, at every new moment one must be able to accept a totally new experience.

6. PERSISTENCE exercise.
One should try to repeat all five exercises again and again systematically in regular turns. In this way, a beautiful balance is gradually achieved in the soul.
One gains a quiet understanding of things that previously were totally closed to the soul.
Even the gait and gestures of the person chance under the influence of such exercises. "

Forever my babies.

I meant to post these a couple weeks ago. Yes, it was just a couple weeks ago that we were eating Snow Crackers...



And here's Jack drinking his carrot juice.

Food

Organic Spanakopita pies are freakin' expensive.

Anyone know of a good "Eating Organic On A Budget," book/recipe book?

I have tons of fresh food now in my fridge. Hopefully someday some of that will be from our garden!

If anyone is looking for a to-die-for treat, try this.... open and pit a medjool date, then smear raw, creamy almond butter on the inside. Enjoy. Oh my.

Hey boys: how to be a hero

I have to link this blog. And remember - as I play and love and guide my boys - that "I stand within the situations from out of which a new society will develop."

http://buggydoo.blogspot.com/2006/03/letter-to-alex-and-chris-twelve-years.html

Tomorrow

Boring post follows.

Watch Shelli's boys.

Measure feet and order Will and Jack summer shoes.

Return steam cleaner.

Home Depot run:
paint scraper
wire brush
3 locks for gates
door lock

For Courage, Mamas.

I have had this hanging on my fridge for the past year. I read it often. Over and over and over. ; )

For Courage
Rudolf Steiner

We must eradicate from the soul all fear and terror
Of what comes to meet us from the future.
We must look forward with absolute equanimity to
Whatever comes and we must think only that
Whatever comes is given us by a world direction full of wisdom.
It is part of what we must learn at this age.
Namely to act out of pure trust in the ever-present help of spiritual worlds.

Truly, nothing else will do if our courage is not to fail us.
Let us discipline our will and let us seek the
Awakening from within ourselves, every morning and every evening.

Take a survey, get free natural cleaner

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=850271936757

This is my BIL's new company. Mark is currently working on the product packaging for it. They are looking for people to complete a survey to get some feedback on the names, etc. The survey says it takes 10 minutes, but it didn't even take me that long to do. If you complete it, they'll send you a free sample. Tell me if you did it (if you don't mind). I'm dying to know what you thought of the names.

Dear Friends,

You are invited to participate in a brief, new product naming evaluation because you, or someone you know, is a friend or business associate of Mike Wallrich, Dennis Voss or Warren King.

We are launching a new product line of cleaners that are both eco-friendly and powerful and would appreciate your insights and guidance in helping us with potential product names. We will not try to sell you anything. Your responses will be kept completely confidential and used only for our own evaluations. However you may be asked to participate in a follow-up survey once these results have been analyzed.


Another way you could be a really big help is if you would forward this email to people you know who care about protecting the environment, believe in healthy living, or just want to make a difference.


As a token of our appreciation, we are offering a free sample of the product, delivered to anyone who completes our survey and provides us shipping information.

Just click http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=850271936757 to help us make the world a healthier place. It’ll take you just 10 minutes.

Over!

Freaking nightmare day.

I know this house is small... looks like it needs tons of updating. I'm dreaming... but it looks like our could-be oasis in the country:

http://www.realtor.com/FindHome/PhotoGallery.asp?snum=6&locallnk=yes&frm=bymap&mnbed=0&mnbath=0&mnprice=100000&mxprice=175000&js=off&pgnum=1&fid=so&stype=&mnsqft=&mls=xmls&areaid=91356&poe=realtor&ct=Spring+Hill&st=KS&sbint=&vtsort=&sorttype=&typ=1&typ=2&typ=4&x=24&y=19&sid=066B9D4F165DC&snumxlid=1055028863&lnksrc=00045&photonum=2

A list to make me happy.

Today I have:

Taken Mark to get his car - he locked his keys in the car last night at pottery class.
Gone to recycling.
Watered my seedlings.
Called Verizon to up our phone plan to cover (**%&((*& calls Mark's making to his brother all the time about his business stuff.
Pushed boys on the swing and collected rocks.
Made lunch. Cauliflower and kiwi for the boys. Carrot/collard greens juice for me.
Folding laundry now.
Dinner is thawing.
ETA: Started more seeds. Radishes, mint, onion (late on this), cayenne peppers, marigolds.
Got Jack down for a nap. Made more fairy houses with Will (including a garage for the fairy cars. lol. )
Made myself a cabbage with peanut sauce for dinner.
Painted faces and bodies with Will and Jack (I look ahem, awesome.)
Painted rocks.
More swinging.
More laundry.
Registered my mom and I for a communiversity class on Raw Food Eating (and feedmemomma should come with us!) : )
Talked to Missouri Organics about dirt.
ETA:
Taken tubby tub with the boys. Got them kinda dressed. Put bathroom back in order after Will splashed all over the place and Jack peed on the bathroom rug.
Starting an evening of damage control as Will has not napped and is being a maniac.
Now setting the table for dinner.
ETA:
Cleaned up kitchen after dinner. Skipped my cabbage and ate yummy cooking club meal instead. All backlogged dishes done.
Went for walk with family. Went to grandpa's and hung out.
Starting Bedtime routine. 8 pm.
ETA: 9:30 pm and boys FINALLY asleep. Very wound up tonight.
Heard rain so ran outside and picked up all the stuff we left out earlier.
9:45. Goin upstairs to read more Square Foot Gardening. And night night.
Laundry needs folding but not gonna happen tonight!

I need to:
Get dirt for garden, and for house issues.
Call tree guys to remove stump.
Take care of my poor abandoned worms.
Clean the bathroom. Its awful.
Clean fridge. Awful too.
I'll end the list there so as not to overwhelm myself.

Back in Black

Jack's been back in cloth diapers for a couple weeks now. I know that I am feeling *normal* again because its not stressing me out. Its easy again. I'm using 16 snug-to-fits and Bummis, and 8 Fuzzi bunz. I can appreciate cloth at moments like this - just put a dipe on the boy and he immediately pooped. No *wasted* sposie.

Lotta watta

Our 65 gallon rain barrel filled up with water after last nights rain! We need to come up with ways to use the water... lots of gardens in our future, hopefully!

Open up the window and let the sun shine in.

Lovely day.

Mark and I attended a class on building a rain garden. We have the perfect spot for this, considering we get storm run off from our yard and all our neighbors yard plopped about 20 feet from our house. We bought a rain barrel today and have plans to buy the native plants soon. The class was very well organized (and free!) and we also both received a $10 gift certificate to use at the store, Prairie & Wetlands Center in Belton. This is obviously a well funded initiative:

http://www.rainkc.com/HOME/INDEX.ASP

We could have found a much cheaper alternative to getting a rain barrel - Mark had planned on taking a rain barrel making class (for about $35). There would have been more economical routes... but at the same time, our rain barrel is now completed and hooked up to our downspout as I type this. And we know it will work, and it won't leak or have issues.

We also bought a compost tumbler from our neighbor! Woo-hoo! I've been eyeing this tumbler in his backyard since last summer. He is moving and was ready to give it up so I finagled (sp?) and bartered and it is now ours. And I've already got golden food scraps in there.

I hope the weather is nice next week so we can play with our new toys. : )

Uh-oh

I'm going to be up all night cooking pizzas. I made 4 pizzas - yes 4 -already but the crust is too bready. I put those in the freezer for Mark and he is forever happy. Now I need to cut the recipe to make thinner crusts.

I really just want to sleep though. Two days of watching 4 kids ages 4 and under has me beat.

SAHM Bliss

Now This Is What I'm Talkin' About!

My boys are sooooo happy. I am happy. Are they happy because I am happy or am I happy because they are happy? Hmmm?

WELCOME SPRING!

Home sweet home

The kids are so happy. They are pulling around suitcases and pretending like they are going to the airport. Will has been naked all day. : )

I need to start thinking cooking club meals. I'm thinking pizza....

Johnny Cash is playing. I just keep thinking of Joaquin. And Phoenix. Wah.

Good day!

My babies are sleeping. Will was plenty happy to fall asleep tonight so he can wake up and go get Daddy at the airport.

Can I just say that most Waldorf "toys" we've ever played with are just magic? Magic, I tell you! I bought a few things the other day at www.waldorfsupplies.com, including square block crayons and wax modeling soap.

First the crayons. Now, we have so many Crapoloa crayons in this house we should buy stock in the company. Wait a minute, we do own their stock... Anyway, Will has never had much interest in coloring. I think its a combination of the straight crayons, and the waxy, not vibrant Crayola colors. He quickly would lose interest in coloring.

I bought him the square Lyra crayons, plus Mark brought home a binder with beautiful, good quality paper (rather than the ugly computer paper we were using). Will colored for an hour. Magic!

Today, I pulled out this cool modeling soap. I have read that beeswax modeling can sometimes be frustrating for the younger children because it takes awhile to warm up in your hands, so I opted for the Washy Squash Modeling Soap. He played ALL morning with it. He'll play with play doh... but once again, bores quickly. This stuff was fabulous. It was soft, smelled fantastic and was beautiful colors. He made a pea pod, airplane, egg, tree, the coast of Maine (yep) and a zillion other things. Then after lunch, more fun was had using some of it in the bath tub. It literally took up half our day (sorry, Audrey, this is why we never came to play). Magic!

ETA: I just have to add that Jack enjoyed both the crayons and soap too, in his own way. He threw the crayons, and ate the soap. Maybe he will "get it" soon. : )

My heart belongs to Waldorf right now for so many reasons.

Anyway.

A few books I'm reading off the top of my head:

Magical Child
Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker
Square Foot Gardening
John Holts Homeschooling Handbook (can't remember title)
Eating Without Heating
Chop Water, Carry Wood
Kristen's Fairy Houses
Summer
Spring Has Sprung
Johnnycake
Festivals, Familly and Food
Carol Alts raw cookbook
Whatever else is at the bottom of my bed at midnight.
And forget about my ipod. Who has time for THAT? Sigh.

I have to go read now. I believe Spiritual Tasks will win out this evening.

Matrix Interupted

We took Daddy to the airport tonight. Will cried all the way home. : (
Mark will be home Sunday afternoon. So only two nights. Its just really hard on the boys. Although bedtime tonight went pretty well, considering the circumstances.

Mark's attending a convention in California. The convention will have exhibits/vendors from companies that market all natural, or some type of health related products. I told him to get me lots of samples! : )

I'm tired... must sleep.

Tomorrow hopefully I can replant my zuchinni into bigger pots. Its growing so fast!

Hey Julie Mama

This is the tea set I want to get the boys. But I'm afraid Jack would destroy it. I have to decide if I should chance it, wait, or choose an enamel tea set.

http://www.hearthsong.com/hearthsong/product.do?section_id=0&sc=1005&bc=1005&pgc=1038&cmvalue=HS%7CCROSSSELL%7CPRODUCT%7C843

ETA: if anyone is really interested and the above link doesn't work, go to www.hearthsong.com and look at the bunny tea set!

These tea sets are adorable too:

http://www.bluemoontea.com/childs-tea-set.htm

"Jack's Stuck"

That is a common comment around this house. Jack is my little monkey. SERIOUSLY, I am going to try to take some pics soon of one of his antics. Yesterday, he literally was climbing up my kitchen cabinets. I walked in the kitchen and he was hanging off one of the shelves (I don't have doors to my cabinets).

He's also a one man wrecking machine. We brought the TV and VCR downstairs last night to watch a movie. Now the VCR is broken. Perhaps is was the fact he kept climbing on it, or that he kept shoving pennys in it.

Hey Julie Mama

Hey Julie Mama

Mark has left for work and will head to Lawrence after work to watch basketball with his buddy. He'll be back late tomorrow night. I kinda kicked him out (and he was ever so willing) as I can't deal with him screaming at the TV set for the next two days. But I was sad to say good-bye today.

Next weekend he goes to California for some free lance stuff he's working on, and before that even he is going to see OUR favorite band, Wilco, who will be in KC for a rare concert on Tuesday. I can't leave the boys for that late of a night. I am feeling a bit sorry for myself.


We were suppose to do some more candle dipping today with my friend but all the kids are a bit sick. We will stay home and I hope that Will can find his groove, because this morning he is a cranky skunk spraying all of us. Gotta go. The skunk is stuck behind the couch and needs my help.

Hey Julie Mama

Someone please remind me that Mark is out slaying dragons for us right now. I just think he is away making pretty pictures, eating at fabulous restaurants and having stimulating adult conversations.

Wait. Must go read my post a few days back...

Hey Julie Mama

"Ad hoc, ad hoc, and quid pro quo.
So little time,
So much to know!"

----Jeremy Hillary Boob, Ph.D., Eminent Classicist, Botanist, Satirist, Part-time Firefighter and Paperback Writer.

Hey Julie Mama

We are happy but tired here. The kids are running free in the backyard while I'm upstairs sorting thru diapers. I can see them out of our bedroom sliding glass door. I am getting ready to sell off a lot of my stash. Looking over my pathetic diapers, I'm frustrated over the time I spend googling over the diapers. I always ended up buying cheap stuff that never worked well. I keep going back to cloth every once and awhile (went to sposies when Jack was about 14 months and 3 years of cloth), last a couple weeks, get overwhelmed with the crap, and go back to sposies. Now that I am thinning out the stash, I am going to make it a go again. using only fuzzi bunz when out and snug to fits at home. Blah, blah, blah over something that has been bugging me for awhile.

I'm making Thai Pumpkin Coconut soup for lunch. We've been eating pineapple coconut smoothies and I'm using up the coconut milk for the soup. We've been on a coconut kick. Guess I'm yearning for summer.

Hey Julie Mama

I am reading Square Foot Gardening and am fascinated. I have the older book edition, but now want this book:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591862027/sr=8-1/qid=1142308351/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-7871618-2832824?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Back to reading.

Our Need/Wish list

Kitchen schears

Food processor

hot pads

Glass or ceramic water pitcher with lid

Easter for the boys: tea set

Lyra crayons

Beeswax modeling

Beeswax sheets for candle rolling

Birthday for the boys: Face pencils

Hey Julie Mama

I made 5 potato and spinach quiches, granola, granola bars, a sweet potato coconut pie, and filed our taxes this weekend. Yay. I am so glad to be done with our taxes. And I need that money as some of it is going to cover the cost of our CSA share.

Will ate, I dunno, at least 4 sour cream muffins for dinner tonight. He had a lot of fun at our friend's house, and on the way home was a chatterbox... talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.... and then... in an instant... zzzzzzzzzz. How does he do that? But a 6:30 bedtime gave me the time to tackle the taxes. Woo-hoo.

We're planting our seeds tomorrow.

I'm a little loopy from sitting on the computer for 2 hours doing the taxes. A bit scattered.

Some of my favorite pics

I love my boys!

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=9ActWrVo1bMeY

The Purpose of Our Work

Mama's,
People give lip service to the importance of motherhood and homemaking. But we know how much we can affect change in this world. Need a reminder of why we are doing what we do? The next time someone asks you what you do for a living, remember this:

"If the homemaker asks after the purpose of her work, the answer is:

She stands within the situations from out of which a new society will develop."

----The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker
Manfred Schmidt-Brabant

I love it! I STAND WITHIN THE SITUATIONS FROM OUT OF WHICH A NEW SOCIETY WILL DEVELOP.

Now off to build fairy houses with Will....

All Work and No Play. Not.

We are playing alot here and having fun.

Mark and I are taking a Pottery class thru the Continuing Education at Longview College. The class is actually at a nearby high school, from 6-8 so we are able to be home for the boys' bedtime. We threw our first bowl last night!

We have been home alot, although outside most of the time. This means, as usual, that I can't keep up on this house. I'm at a loss. The Laundry Monster seems to be here to stay. And I think I have a few mischievious elemental beings that like to continually add crumbs to my floor minutes after I sweep. And I mean in addition to Will and Jack. Because I swear I could clean for a lifetime and still find crumbs. ; )

Today we were not home. Lunch with Daddy, which is always a big, long affair. Boys are asleep. So I must tend those crumbs.

ETA: Hey Tabitha! I am a near neighbor of yours! I live in the suburbs of Kansas City, MO... far south. We go down to Beaver Lake, Arkansas every year to camp. I think that is somewhat near where you live...

Hey Julie Mama

I just bought a bunch of seeds for our garden. I better get my butt into gear. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a total supreme waste of money. This is what I bought (from www.seedsavers.org):

Description Total
1
Southport Red Globe Onion
Packet 100 seeds
Item: 641 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
St. Valery Carrot
Packet 250 seeds
Item: 360 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Kentucky Wonder Pole Bean
Packet 50 seeds
Item: 605 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Black Beauty Zucchini Squash
Packet 25 seeds
Item: 1303 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Wisconsin 55 Tomato
Packet 25 seeds
Item: 1059(OG) APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Genovese Basil
Packet 250 seeds
Item: 271(OG) APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Miniature Red Bell Pepper
Packet 25 seeds
Item: 842 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Blacktail Mountain Watermelon
Packet 25 seeds
Item: 967 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Sunflower Collection
Item: 1421 Price: $13.50
$13.50
1
Calendula Mixture
Packet 250 seeds
Item: 1066 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50
1
Starfire Signet Marigold
Packet 100 seeds
Item: 1133 APACKET Price: $2.50
$2.50

Hey Julie Mama

House is somewhat back to normal! whew.

I never sleep. Its 3 am. Jack is teething... his incisors.

I need to post this as a constant reminder to myself:

There was a child went forth every day,
And the first object he look'd upon
That object he became,
And that object became part of him,
For the day or a certain part of the day,
Or for many years or stretching cycles of years...
~Walt Whitman


I love my boys so much. Will has been so much fun this week. Lots of dancing and giggles. He will always be my baby.

Hey Julie Mama

I just made 6 pizza lasagnas. I cannot even begin to describe how trashed this house is. Mark is going to die when he walks in...but i can't clean because Jack wants to nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse....gotta go. Will has informed me there is a bug in our garage that I just gotta go see... he says its big. As big as an ant. LOL.

Ugh.

Here's my pathetic fridge shot. I'm tellin' ya, I want to go to Sarah's house....
I have lemons, flax, yogurt and the best Honey Peanut Butter ever. What else does a girl need? Oh, a bunch of leftovers on the top shelf....

Hey Julie Mama

Freaky. This is so me... Take the test yourself! : )
The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=12721960859055255705

the Romantic
Test finished!
you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR.
"I am unique"

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!
What I Like About Being a Four

my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
my ability to establish warm connections with people
admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
being unique and being seen as unique by others
having aesthetic sensibilities
being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me
What's Hard About Being a Four

experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
feeling guilty when I disappoint people
feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
expecting too much from myself and life
fearing being abandoned
obsessing over resentments
longing for what I don't have
Fours as Children Often

have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s
are very sensitive
feel that they don't fit in
believe they are missing something that other people have
attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)
Fours as Parents

help their children become who they really are
support their children's creativity and originality
are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

Hey Julie Mama

Four more Spanakopita pies completed! HEAR ME ROAR! : ) These were accomplished much more pleasantly then the first batch.... with sleeping babies, its a cake.

Yet One More Repulsive Ad Campaign

How can people live with themselves? This is horrible. Coca-Cola is now trying to convince us that its okay drink soda... cause, ya know, it hydrates.

Take the time to watch the repulsive, syrupy intro, then look under "Get Smarter," where is says something about hydration... and be prepared to scream.

http://www2.coca-cola.com/makeeverydropcount/home.html

Hey Julie Mama: February 2006

I am crampy and tired. Period. AGAIN. I am getting my period every 21 days for about 5 months now. Before this, I have only had a few periods in the last few years - just enough after Will to get pregnant with Jack. My emotions are evening out, so I don't want to complain but I just wonder if this is a sign of problems or anything?????

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/ref=cs_top_nav_wl/002-7871618-2832824

Worm update

Its time to do a little worm harvesting. I attempted yesterday but my compost bin is way too wet. The compost is too sludgy to deal with trying to seperate the worms from the gold. : ) But at any rate, here's what I did:

Spread out a large tarp and dump bin on top.

Pile the compost into little piles, I had about 12 piles.

Shine light on compost so that the worms scurry (do worms scurry?) to the bottom of the pile. Worms do not like light. Once this is done, you can gently scrape the top layers of compost off. Continue this until all that is left is a pile of lovely worms. Put worms in freshly made beddng. Save compost. There are various ways to harvest your compost, but I like this way because I can see how many worms I have in my bin.

The good news is that I saw a lot of worms. I was worried about my bin and the quality of it and if my worms were thriving. Well, they are and they are eating up the garbage in massive amounts. They seem to love banana skins, which is good because we eat a lot of bananas. I often buy big bags of bananas on sale and freeze them for smoothies. I was worried the worms might get sick of them, but nope. B )

So anyway, I put the compost and worms all back into the bin. Later this weekend I am going to transfer them all to a cardboard box, which will help the dry out the soil. Then in a few weeks I will repeat above procedure. Hopefully with more success.

Hey Julie Mama

Oh wow. I will covet these words for a long time. I'm cutting and pasting this post from a MDC thread:

"Think of it this way- some where in the universe when you and (and your child) make the spiritiual decision to join your souls, you knew that you each had exactly what the other needed to learn. You made a pact to do this together, to learn from each other, lessons that there were no other ways to learn. So you came to this place, wher you would be his momma and he would be your challenge but you kind of forgot that you both picked each other and that you were here to work through some tough stuff. "

Hey Julie Mama

Thru hell and high water, I just finished baking 4 Spanakopita pies. Good freaking Lord.

Yesterday. Bad day.
Today. So far so good.

I woke up about 5:30 and had about an hour to myself before Jack woke up so I made some banana bread with flaxseed (the house smells so good, its almost done!) and a cup of tea. Worked on scrapbook stuff and then Jack woke up. He never sleeps long without me next to him. We just reserved more books thru the library system and now I have to decide what to do all day with the boys. At home. Hopefully play outside all day long!!!

And clean my tub. I have an awesome recipe for a coffee body scrub that I've been using, but it sure makes a ring around my tub, if you can imagine.

Thanks, feedmemomma for your coffee grounds!

Here's the recipe:

1/4 cup olive oil
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 cup raw turbinado sugar (I used half a cup because I'm cheap and it was fine)
15 drops peppermint oil
1/2 cup used coffee grounds from a freshly brewed pot

Combine ingredients and store in wide mouth glass jar. Store in cool place for up to 2 weeks.

Apply handfuls of scrub to body in a circular motions, make sure to get those rough spots; elbows, heels, knees. Rinse.

Where were they all my life?

I've met some truly amazing, beautiful women since I've given birth to my two sons. I have learned so much from these women, and have shared in the heart soaring and the heart breaking moments of child rearing. I wish I would have known them before I started this mothering odessey. If only I knew *then* what I know now! I am so respectful of the mamas that learned and *got it* (i.e. attachment parenting and natural living) before having kids. I was not completely ignorant before giving birth. I read the readily available and popular books that were out there to read. I read magazines and spoke to other women. Mainstream everything. How was I to know the *real* way to give life?

Not until I held baby Will in my arms did I discover that everything I ever learned about parenting/children/birth was so against a mother's instinct. Well, at least this mother's. I started the journey then and have really enjoyed my own personal growth over the last few years. I wish, wish, wish I would have *got it* sooner. If only I would have read a Mothering magazine instead of Parenting. If only I had gone to LLL BEFORE Will was born instead of months after. I'm not agonzing over this, I'm not beating myself up about it. Its just a shame, really, that this kind of parenting is so "out there." Cause its more real than anything I've ever lived before.

Hey Julie Mama

Brrrsy. We really, really regret those days of burning our firewood when it was 40 degrees out. We are out of firewood and its 11 degrees right now.

$136 candles

I went to a friend's house today to do some candle dipping with beeswax. It was a great, great day... once we were there. The morning consisted of picking up the truck at the Toyota dealership and paying them $1,000 for repairs (of what, I don't know since it was running just fine when we took it in), and then on my way to my friend's house I got a speeding ticket. Total stress about money right now.

But the candle dipping was fun, the conversation stimulating, and the kids played beautifully all day. Jack nursed and slept in the sling for once. It went as well as it could.

Well, I haven't had a ticket in over 10 years so I guess it was my time. Luckily, the policeman gave me a break - I was in a school zone and he could have doubled my fine. Sheesh.

I'm working on this...

"Eliminate something superfluous
from your life.
Break a habit.
Do something that makes you feel
insecure.
Carry out an action with complete
attention and intensity,
as if it were your last."

Piero Ferrucci

Hey Julie Mama

Some of you have asked about the CSA so here's the info:

400 - full share of produce
250 half share
$50 for 1 doz. eggs for 22 weeks
$50 for flowers for 12 weeks
chicken $2.29 a lb and have to buy whole chickens (usually weigh 3-5lbs)
Turkey $2.49 a lb.
Fruit share is $100.

Its www.coyotecreekfarmks.com

Hey Julie Mama

I'm feeling very lovey dovey about Mark lately. Today when he left, usually he stops out front of the house so the kids can run to the window and wave goodbye. Today, he stopped but the kids took too long to go the window so he left because he didn't think they were coming. Well, Will freaked out so we called Daddy to tell him goodbye instead. Daddy said he was going to turn around and go watch out the window. So we did and he did stop back bye. The boys were thrilled. Its these little things that matter.

Hey Julie Mama

Holy crap, I went to Whole Foods today and spent $65 on I don't know what. This is what happens when Mark keeps putting off watching the kids so I can grocery shop. I cannot shop wisely with two kids, even with a list. Mostly at Whole Foods because I Am Weak.

On that note, I signed up today for a CSA and I'm so excited. I was in Local Harvest for awhile (until they closed) and it was like getting little gifts every week I received my produce box. I miss that. I signed up for:

Produce share (half a share cause I like going to Farmer's Markets too, and we are going to attempt a garden this year).
Eggs (I'll get one dozen a week.)
Fruit share (apples, peaches, pears)
Flowers!!!! Every week for 12 weeks!
1 free range whole chicken every 2 weeks
1 turkey for Thanksgiving
They also may be offering raw milk down the road.
Is this heaven? I am thrilled.

I think I'll save money by staying out of the grocery store!

ETA: Mark just called and said he stopped by Price Chopper and asked if I needed anything. Too late, sucker! LOL!

Daddy;s are for lovin'

Mark took the day off work to spend a day with Will. They were going to have a full day. Another day at Paradise Park (Mark wants to see Will in action) and then they were going to see the movie Curious George. Jack and I are having a peaceful, playful, cleaning kind of day. A day to allow me to bring forth Perspective.

A Day Out And All Is Well

Can I just say I love making titles? : ) Its instilled in me from my days in Journalism, I suppose.

We went to Paradise Park today. Will's energy is mind blowing. He had so much fun - his favorite being the building room. He pretends like he is a "worker guy" and was building a replica of the Paradise Park building. The most stressful room - at least for mom - is the dollhouse/farmhouse room. His play is so aggressive with the people and animals. Re-directed to the grocery store and all was better. This is interesting considering our play at home revolves greatly on pretend play with people, cars or animals. Which maybe is not so great for any on us. Oh, to be outdoors again where Will is truly happy. I can't wait for Spring!

I guess its hard for me because I was the little girl that could spend hours setting up a dollhouse, arranging furniture, folding the blankets around the dolls just right. I want Will to have that quiet, inward play. He is so outward. I really want to talk to Ms. Diana more about this. She will have great insight. Instead of always trying to get Will to play gently with those toys that deserve gentleness (he should learn this, I say!), instead I want to provide him with the building opportunites that he obviously so enjoys. Blocks, logs, dominos, legos. We need some legos. He would love that.

Of course, the stress comes when little brother destroys the magnificient building project that Will worked on so hard. Sigh.

Good day today!!!! I wonder how the rest of the day will go... I suspect we are going to be okay today. And Daddy is taking tomorrow off to spend one-on-one time with Will. He really wants to take him to see Curious George which I am not so thrilled with. I will have to tell Mark the story that Will told me today....

"Mommy, there was a shooter guy who put a power sword right into that guy and then the shooter went right into him and he died and went to heaven."

Yep.

Will watches very, very little TV. He watches at home occassionally, but its usually on at his cousins house, where he has seen a few minutes of Power Rangers or something. And it stays with him. And we have the book on tape "Danny and the Dinosaur" where the writer mentions "guns and swords" in the museum. He has seen water guns at the swimming pool. Add to that our neighbor kids's grandma died a couple weeks ago and we watched the kids for several days to help out so that was the Topic Of Conversation quite a bit.
Which is okay - that is life. But anyway... I know I can't shield him forever but he seems to take things in so deeply... I keep thinking of that Walt Whitman poem.
But I just wonder what it is all like for those kids that watch more TV. Are they as affected, or its it taken in more passively?

I wish I could have been 100% PURE on things with Will... I was for awhile (no candy, TV, blah, blah). How do people do that? I also feel I need to accept life as dirty as it can get and not beat myself up for not measuring up to the Mother I Want to Be. Just keep moving forward with insight and courage....

ISO Supermom

I am failing Will. If he is with me, he pretty much is miserable all the time. From the minute he wakes up, he is whining and crying. I focus on him, I love him, I try to laugh with him. He needs a greater sense of purpose. He needs centered. He is out of form.

Hey Julie Mama

Desparately Seeking Warmth!!!!!! Brrr.

Are you going to eat that?

Yes. Today Mark and I visited a couple pre-schools as part of our information gathering journey into Educating Will. We went to two schools. The first was a Primrose School and it was everything I despise about organzied pre-schools. The laughable part was the sign hanging up in the hallway spouting the delicious, nutririous snacks provided to the children - with a color poster featuring gorgeous green broccoli and red delicious apples.

Guess what the children were snacking on today as we visited the classrooms? Are you ready for this?

Pop tarts. With milk. I couldn't believe it. Yes, let me PAY you to feed my child pop tarts. WTF???? I really should have said something, I was on the verge. Mark and I left that school and Mark wanted to skip the next tour and just go to work. He said he had seen enough.... blah, blah, blah. I urged him to give the next school a try ---- it is a Monetessori school.

So we did and Mark was awed. What a difference. The building was very nice, the classrooms beautiful. Watching the children work was mesmerizing. I can definitely see the draw many have to a Montessori education. It was an enjoyable experience. It was all about respecting the child and not dumbing down their education.

Anyway, it was two very different experiences, that is for sure. The price tags of each school were, um, quite different too, if you can imagine.

Cheers and Jeers, Ups and Downs

Cheers and Jeers for the weekend:

Cheers-----

I am finally lovin' my Diva cup after cutting the tip of the bottom. I almost gave up on it after 5 months of hating it. A little snip at the bottom and it is PERFECT.

My kids are feeling much better.

Even though I bitch and moan too much about Mark (usually in regard to his housecleaning skills), he is a fabulous father. The boys adore him. I mean ADORE him. He is actively involved in their lives. Not perfect, but at least AWARE of their needs and feelings. Seriously too few dads are.

I have a freezer full of dinners made by mama friends.

I love Lake Farm School. It makes our family stronger.

I love the book, "Beyond the Rainbow Bridge - Nurturing Our Children from Birth to age Seven"
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0964783231/ref=pd_bxgy_text_b/002-7871618-2832824?%5Fencoding=UTF8

My house is fairly clean right now.

I'm enjoying scrapbooking again finally.

Jeers:

The women in my extended family (i.e. sister, sil, mother) can drive me freakin' crazy with their judgements on how Mark and I parent.

Spending 4 hours watching a stupid football game is not my idea of fun. I could have been doing so many more interesting things.

Spending too much money on eating out at bad restaurants. Mark and I are determined to not do that again.

Mark playing hockey for nearly 4 hours every Sunday morning is starting to annoy the hell out of me.

Hmmmm. Maybe I should have ended with the Cheers so I could go out on a positive note. : ) Okay, so I will...

I love Will's exuberance and imaginative play. I love watching Will and Jack crawl around all night on the floor and act like puppy dogs. I love Will's wild blonde hair, and Jack's buddha belly. I love how Jack smiles for the camera. : )

Hey Julie Mama

I'm coming out of the fog today. Will was really sick, poor thing. On Wednesday, he had one continuous cough, literally. He was also breathing very fast. None of the homeopathic cough syrups were working, and teaspoons of honey and lemon did little to help. Baths In early afternoon with lavender and eucalyptus. Finally, I gave him a treatment of albuterol that I had left from last year's wheezing incident and that helped until Mark came home and I could go to the store for more medicine. I thought we were going to have to go the doctor's office the next day and they would surely prescribe antibiotics. At Nature's Pantry, my favorite herb/natural healer guy was there and gave me some killer homeopathic cough syrup with expectorant and Sovereign Silver. Added this to my aresenal of what I was already doing and he is doing much better today. I'm happy because I avoided more breathing treatments, steroids and antibiotics. Woo-hoo. And his immune system is now that much stronger. Giving my child Silver is a little freaky and I had to go on the faith of my herb guy until I did some research. Ignoring the freaky stuff on the net like the silver lady, and reading some of the studies, I'm happy to use it in small doses on occassion, mostly if it helps avoid antibiotics.

http://www.natural-immunogenics.com/silver_why_sovereign.php

And the site that would freak anyone out to take silver:

http://homepages.together.net/~rjstan/rose2.html

Anyway...

Its taken me half the day to blog this as these kids are so freakin' needy. It gets so tiring. I'm giving up for the day. I started this post before 8 am and its 1 pm. This is why I don't blog like I would prefer.....

Hey Julie Mama

My babies are sick. : (

Hey Julie Mama

My babies are sick. : (