These are the days.

I have Natalie Merchant in my mind. Alot. Love her.

Anyway... Will is growing by leaps and bounds. I can't keep up with all the milestones that have occured over the last few months. He seems to have grown developmentally so much in the past 6 months. He is most certainly out of BabyLand and into the Childhood Years. His most recent milestone - he's taking swim lessons and is now putting his head under water and swimming like a fish. This - from the child who HATED even getting his hair washed and we always had to make CERTAIN no water would come near his eyes. He is dunking himself under the water, and learning his strokes. Its just wild to see.

He's also learning the fine art of QUIET TIME. I'm determined to have it these days. I'm approaching it judgement free (which seems to work on every discipline level so far for me if I would just stick to it) and just as a way it is to be. I nurse Jack down to sleep, and if Will hasn't fallen asleep then I tell him he can either stay in the playroom and play quietly, or come snuggle with me in my bedroom. But I am resting. He's actually cool with it - he often stays in the playroom and hangs out by himself. I think this is so very healthy for him to finally start learning the good that can come from alone time. Though, too, there are times that Jack doesn't want to sleep and they like to have quiet time together. They are actually staying in the room and letting me rest in my own bedroom. I'm taking this time to either meditate a bit, or do some reading, or cat nap. I work hard to keep us at home between 1 pm and 3 pm these days. Gosh, I hope I am not jinxing myself writing this out.

On ME front - I go next Saturday to The Elms for an overnight spa retreat. Alone! For the first time in 6 years (at least). These days the boys both sleep thru the night, and Jack can easily skip nursing without upset. He pretty much forgets about nursies unless I am around. I'm excited. I signed up for a Mud Bath De-tox, and Rain Therapy Massage.

Days fly by and I try not to wish it all away. I am missing old friends, wanting to do more fun activities, wanting to get the house cleaner and more organized, wanting to stay home more, wanting to go out more though too. Basically wanting it all and trying to not beat myself up that things slide and I can't/don't/won't do it all and it is what it is. Let go of the guilt.