Choices.

First, I wrote out a huge blog yesterday but I guess I lost it because it never posted. Bummer. Bygones. But now on to today's musings.

My head is kind of swirling over "the plan." The plan consists of how I want our days to proceed over the next few months. Our parent/toddler program is over at Children's Song and I can either sign on for 10 more weeks of sessions, or not. Or I could decide to send Will to Lake Farm School for a couple days a week. But not really, because its too long of a drive. Or I could chuck ALL driving, buy the Enki curriculum that I have been considering and try to stay home. Or, just pull out my Earthways book, Seven Times the Sun, Toymaking with Children, the felt and beeswax and clay I already have and just start doing stuff at home.

So I am indecisive because:

1. Our rhythm at home gets easily whacked if we leave to go to cool play dates.

2. I need the support of community. I love Ms. Diana at Lake Farm School - she is wise, and supportive, and inspirational. She is magic with the children. In my dreams, we would live on a few acres near the school, Will would go to the preschool a couple days a week, and we would homeschool. Oh, but then Daddy would commute for 2 hours a day to work and have no life. Oh wait, kinda like now, but in Lee's Summit.

3. I enjoy Children's Song but it does not nourish us in the way Lake Farm does. But its closer. Also, Jack and I could do the toddler program upstairs one day a week, while Will is with the preschoolers. Cool arrangement!

4. Above arrangement cool. Except, back to loving Lake Farm School. Daddy could attend the Saturday program with us. In fact, Mark and I have agree that this should be the one CERTAIN thing we do because we love it so much.

5. But then... I would LOVE Will to be involved in the preschool festivals at Lake Farm. The advent, martinmas, the plays. Back to that wishful thinking I guess. I don't want to drive 2 days a week out there, drop Will off and have to figure out stuff for Jack and I to do while he is in the school.

6. Fine. Stay home. Get Enki and it will solve EVERYTHING, right?

7. Except when I lose it and freak out because my children DON"T NAP.